Let me help you live well and die better
On top of it, the student seems to be of melancholy, grim and depressive attitude. One might even rightly guess that he might commit suicide.
But the question is do you really die when you commit suicide?
Well, mortally yes, you might choose your way of snuffing your life out, but the end is the same, you will be dead. Dead.
Death is a mystery, nobody knows what happens post mortem, is there any other world? or any other reincarnation perhaps?
No. you are dead, and that's the end of it.
Many countries, and their respective cultures, have tabooed or outlawed the committing of suicide, perhaps the reason behind it is to make you realize that coming into this life wasn't in your hands, and so is dying.
In fact, many religions, sects, cultures do propagate this theory.
Let me tell you a story, thousands of years ago, somewhere a cave child was thinking of how his other cave friends were not including him in the hunting game? (Any similarities are strictly coincidental)
hmm, what did the cave child do, did he, put his hand in the pit of some venomous snake? or did he just go up and stand before a tiger? or did he plunge himself in the roaring waters on some ancient stream?
No, he did not do any of that, instead, he found a game that he could be better at. He made cave friends who were more suited to his style, and more importantly, he loved his ancient, more dangerous, and unpredictable life.
What makes a cave child love his more dangerous life than our twenty-first-century kid?
If a question is asked aloud, who wants to die? No hands will come up and if the opposite question is asked: "Who wants to live?" Many hands will come up, perhaps, all hands will come up. Clearly, no one wants to die.
But look around you today, there are more suicides today than fifty years back, life is more comfortable, easy with machines, still, fifty years before people loved life more, despite the hardships. You don't believe me ask your parents, or better yet ask your grandparents they will tell you, life was more with less in it.
So, what did change exactly in these fifty years or since the cave child for that matter? People are the same, the culture though evolved according to time, largely remains the same? What did change then?
Well, something changed which is snuffing life out of these human candles, each candle capable of dispersing darkness, yet it blows itself out, surprising the passing breeze.
Instant gratification is a term referred to as instant satisfaction of wants or desires.
For example, parents not giving the child his cellphone, the poor young one hangs himself up the ceiling fan.
Low estimation of self, or low self-esteem? A college girl commits suicide.
How about the failure of expectations? An engineering student commits suicide because he failed in one subject. Imagine that, one subject, could life be lived on that one subject?
Now, how about something touchy, and serious at the same time? Parenting? A child commits suicide, reasons parents not conforming to his thoughts (gender, educational aspirations,....) there are many reasons these are just a few and prominent.
Well, how about, stereotyping and bullying? Medical resident commits suicide, after prolonged harassment by seniors.
How about unrealistic goals? A student commits suicide after failing in civil services exam.
How is depression part of all these, these all lives went out, because of events that could have easily altered. Though it does not mean depression was not to play a part, few of the above might not be suffering from depression at all, just classic but tragic stimulus and response.
But let's call an elephant an ELEPHANT, or should we say let's address the elephant in the room.
Today we are not teaching our kids to play but compete, not to learn but recite, not to be wise but educated, not to be honest with oneself, but compare with others, not to cry but fight.
There is nothing wrong with crying, or accepting what you are.
A diamond is just another coal pressed hard under the earth, we all are diamonds, we need to realize it, and particularly our young generations. Each one of us can have unique potential, some of it can be gifted, some of it trained, but it's a potential nonetheless.
Now coming to the solutions of what one must do to live well?
Avoid self-induced depression, first and foremost, stop comparing, you are different and always will be, like all of us, we are all different, no individual on earth is identical, not even the identical twins.
Keep small realistic goals, which give more sense of accomplishment, than unrealistic ones, this does not mean you dream small, for a small dream is a crime( Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam) but break your dream into achievable goals.
Parents, listen to kids, they will tell you a lot, today everybody is only expressing their views and nobody is listening, perhaps your kid will have something to say to you.
How about sensitizing our kids? it's the only way to stop bullying and other social evils, let's teach our kids empathy, kindness, respect for other individuals.
One should aspire, as a human race we have advanced so much because we have aspired for better everything, then why not life. Just keep it real, don't fly close to the sun like Icarus.
How to die better.
If you still think life is over because you lost a game, an exam, a goal, or an opportunity.
Well don't think too bad about yourself, life would be full of disappointments, and you can't die again after you die once, so why not keep dying to the last? yeah...!
Stop investing more into yourself, and be aware that there is a world out there where you can contribute in a meaningful way.
How about taking a pause and not overthinking everything, it takes courage to commit suicide, but it takes more courage to live life well, why not take on the challenge.
Youngsters, this life is very real, it's so real that if you prick a pin onto yourself, you will bleed and you will need doctor's care immediately, so there are no second lives like in the game of pubg. no chicken dinner but a silent, dark and cold nothingness.
Let not any exam decide your life, but your values and dreams. Remember if Manjhi can move a mountain, then so can you, just do it one pebble, one stone, one rock at a time.
Coming back to our story of the cave boy, who was shunned, and probably had more troubles and worries, than you could ever dream, well he found a girl, they wandered for a while, settled near a river, fished, did farming, founded his first cult, became chief of his tribe and went to happy hunting grounds( as dear Jim Corbett says) of old age.
Let's keep it real, keep it well, this is one life, one chance to be better than self, let's make it worthwhile.
If you are feeling low, and need a friend? just call on below number. For there is always a way, always an answer to every problem.
Sharad Koche
+91 8149205054
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