Universal Part-1

When a cool breeze stole inside the closed car windows through a gap... it awakened Sanjay to the reality that the dusk was dawning and it was time he should head back. With this realization, he reached for his seatbelt at back and after a few moments of struggle managed to strap it to the latch.  He looked once again at the view that was in front of him. There spread till the horizon and beyond perhaps lied the human sea, all settled in their tiny dovecotes, their cotes switching on the lights and slowly as the sun sunk far at the horizon due to its labored struggle to keep lighting the world. It seemed like the sun did give up on the world and its brightness then slowly metamorphosed into a spectrum of light spreading its colors or a desperate cry for help?

No such thoughts bothered Sanjay, as he slowly backed away from the slope of the hill, the hill presented him with a great view, and at times seeing tiny teeming windows flickering with their feeble lives.

Sanjay did wonder often, how each lighted window or balcony, presented to him a universe of its own. The occupants of such window or balcony did have their own universe, their own center of the galaxy around which their entire lives revolved. Their aspirations and motivation are so varied as varied perhaps as there are stars in the universe. Sanjay got amused at himself when he remembered that one day his friend told him, that each family has a universe of its own and how Sanjay laughed it away for he didn't believe in any philosophy and wasn't going to start believing then. 

Now with two tiny little princesses cum devils at his hands as he raced down the narrow road that led downhill, he couldn't believe that statement anymore. How Naina, had changed his life when she arrived at his house for the first time with her parents for the formal introduction that comes prior to the Indian arranged marriages. Life was beautiful then, all for his taking. Yet his, naivety and brashness destroyed it all, soon after the first daughter was born, Sanjay started staying out more, all the responsibility of raising a small kid felled on Naina, she never accused him of anything or would rather be even more supportive when he would return after days of absence. He knew, he needed to work on his marriage more, but even though his intentions were good he couldn't summon the strength to overcome the feeling of disgust at his present situation. He blamed it on Naina, his parents, his daughter even for the state he was in and when his first daughter was just short of completing the second revolution around the sun, he was struck with the news his wife was pregnant again. No, he was no misogynist, in fact, he never forgot to bring a doll or two whenever he would return from his abstinence to meet his wife and daughter. He, loathed his being for he could not work on his dream and felt caged in love, and like a stupid person who thinks he is getting high by choking himself realizes at the end that now he has sapped his strength to such an extent that even though now that he wants to get out of the situation, he has suffocated himself. Sanjay felt his wife's and family's love was suffocating him and when the second daughter arrived all the hell broke loose. Naina was a patient woman, be she was human too, sapped of all her patience one day she did burst out at Sanjay, who was taken aback at the sudden change of avatar.  Sanjay listened for what felt like hours or days even, all the emotional outburst that Naina had saturated inside her tiny soft heart. When the storm was over and clouds cleared, she did go to Sanjay took him in an embrace, and said in her soft voice. " It's ok Sanjay, we all are learning to be a parent, and at times this new job might be suffocating our dreams, but they are our dreams and we can dream them again."

A car sped by honking loudly at distraught Sanjay, "pagal hain kya, dikhta nahi? **" realizing he was slowing on downhill road, he increased the speed of his car, thinking..yes "dikh raha tha, main hi andha hona chahta tha!***" Naina left him for her heavenly abode in a freak train crash, leaving him and her two beloved daughters behind. She did leave a void behind. A fathomless abyss, and if Sanjay did try to explore he would keep falling and not reach the bottom ever. 

A red light at the crossed road, made him put his car on idle and he drifted again to the conversation where his friend mentioned families being a universe of their own. Sanjay could now see the reason in that statement. his entire life revolved around Naina. She was a steadfast lighthouse of his life's storm. and he never took the time to make her feel happy. she only loved him more, for she too could relate to his condition but knowing Sanjay well she realized if both the parents kept blaming the situation, who will raise her princesses then. and like a professional play, she stretched out, tied her belt, and gave everything to her little universe even her life.

Loud tapping at his driver-side window, made him realize that the signal had turned green and people were screaming and honking horns to make him move his vehicle. He quickly drove ahead leaving behind the honkers. He left his memories at the crossroad and now only concentrated on getting to his little devils. they were four and five respectively and created such a nuisance around that he had to really search hard to find for them a patient nanny. Perhaps in their tantrums and nuisance, they secretly wished that their mother would come from the god's house and comfort them in her warm embrace.

*** Epilogue.

Lokesh looked at an idiot who was driving down the hill opposite his office, and from the seventh floor, he could see the fellow making a lot of mistakes... What an idiot he thought, what must he be thinking so much driving so slowly downhill that even the banner which read drive slowly would come to life and kick his bum and ask him to speed a little. He saw what happened at the signal and wondered what was wrong with this guy putting aside his coffee which he held in his hand, He put that thought aside saying must be a college kid they know nothing about how hard life is... A text message vibrated his phone, see took out his phone from his left pocket and saw the message. "Lokesh, it's over" the message was from his girlfriend who also worked in his office...she never messaged him until very important, what was over, he wondered he texted back but there wasn't any reply and when he dialed the call worried all he could reach was an end of the line. there was no number...he kept dailing again and again...and like a fool expecting the same result from doing the same thing again and again...he kept dailing and dailing.

Glossary:-

**pagal hain kya, dikhta nahin?:- Are you mad, don't you see?

*** "dikh raha tha, main hi andha hona chahta tha":- I was seeing yet i wanted to remain blind and oblivious.